4/25

I
Pulsing through, pushed by the constant beating
my blood flows, my love flows,
on a circulating stream

II
The self inflicted doubt,
the self served lust,
I can't hide from myself, or you
Instead I flee
Distractions are merely a blur
a brief image of a greater picture,
the balance of obsession, indecision,
Unreadable words written on discreet pages
Credit were credit is due, my debt?
Nonexistent

III
Death sends an open invitation,
I refuse to reply

IV
friendless, foolish, freedom
a child of false fiction
a lived dream became a nightmare
awoke to be greeted by nothingness
Anger at betrayal, anger at self doubt
The end of the rainbow, an empty cauldron
brewing the broken bones of men

V
Physical appearances are a great wall,
always decaying, yet
they protect the civilization of the soul

Love is the key to great gate
yet sometimes the love of ill suitors
brings a broken civilization

Conquered, the wall a meaningless pile of stone
Civilians would thrust out those invaders
If the could wrest back the key

VI
The flood waters of the heart
Sweep into the sandbags of stubbornness
The raw tide of emotions resist,
refusing to be overwhelmed
water leaks through yet the bags hold strong,
the rapid torrent, rebuked, diverts its flow
toward more pleasant company

VII
Green leaves portray new life
rejuvinated after a deathly winter
grass shoots upwards, ever reaching
for the suns rays
delighted they dance in the cool breeze

Birds sing sappy songs,
dancing a jig from branch to branch
as a squirrel chit chats with a far off friend

Humanity walks by without a car
boats float on dirty water
cars fly by and a train zooms past

Do they know all they are missing?

VIII
Picture yourself in a prison cell
and only key is in the hands
of someone unwilling to walk
to the door

That is my vision of heartbreak

IX
My strengths, my hopes, my self sacrifices
evaporate in the desert that is your rejection

X
I'll play devil's advocate to your happy go lucky tale of self awareness.
I'll watch you walk into the trap of codependency.
I'll whisper I told you so.

XI
Honesty falls on death ears
Love speaks through mute lips
Tears fall into dust
Blood falls into dirt

XII
Time is measured in broken dreams
Acclaim is measured by failed accomplishments

XIII
Change effects the smallest rain drop to the largest mountain
Only in humanity can the stubborn rebuke change
But only the weak rebuke it, for the strong embrace it

XIV
Easy come, easy go
forget everything you ever though
about loneliness, fear
I live with loneliness, I feed on fear
Homeless with a roof over ones head
lungs live on the breathe you left behind
brick walls feel like a cell
even when the sun shines
it's rays beckoning me to unlock the door,
yet a prisoner I remain, bound
Iron bars discouraging, yet weightless
Chains binding me to my loneliness
Living in a cave, I feed like lichen
yet hunger always burns deep inside
Rotten corpses, rotting friendships
briefly keep one nourished
Feeding off the weak decay
Leeching life blood from the lost loves
bloating, fat and sluggish,
consumed by poachers of life

XV
Time speeds by at measured rates
the sky and sun, the earth and moon,
Yet it stops for none, ever working

Time is money, yet tends to be short
It fleets and it cheats,
the steady heart beat of our very living,
yet towards death it always brings us

Time has no allies, nor enemies
It only contends with itself

XVI
Brewing in a cauldron
stirred by the hand of fat
No witch craft nor magic spell
Toxicity through time and endless mulling
Boiling over,
Spilling hot fear on the world of the innocent

Crafty thoughts breed crafty words
That spit rapid fire from lips too quick
Ricochet back into the eyes of the sayer
blinking and befuddled,
staring at an empty chair
no face, no trace,
just rewind and replay

what went wrong?
once a form and a face
a smile and a laugh
now a chair quite bare
and a half empty glass

Pay a tab, walk away,
bitter defeat tastes like lead